From Michael Alexander: 

The Washington Post asked readers to submit “instructions” for something (anything), but written in the style of a famous person.
.
  O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
  Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
  Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
  Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
  Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
  A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
  To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
  Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
  The Hoke, the poke — banish now thy doubt
  Verily, I say, ’tis what it’s all about.
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  — by “William Shakespeare”